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‘Coursework draft tutorial feedback and learner response’.


Anisa

Statement of Intent second draft:

·         Very solid Statement of Intent that covers the majority of areas required.
·         I think you could add to representation in terms of ethnicity as well as gender (and add some more theory – Butler, Gilroy etc.?)
·         Add an industry context – funding, distribution, digital promotion etc.

Trailer rough cut comments:

·         Lots of potential here with some nice jump scares – the fast paced section in the middle is exactly what we’re looking for.
·         You’re missing loads of easy trailer conventions (most text on screen) that will immediately give it more of a trailer feel.
·         Add some dialogue at the start to explain the narrative (estate agent speaking).
·         Need more on the discussion between the two characters – I would consider re-shooting with tighter framing and more realistic performances (may need to change the dialogue here).
·         Add some extra shots – close ups, extreme close ups, a couple of extra bits of dialogue etc.
·         Music is good but I’d change where it appears – have it come in midway through perhaps?
·         Ending needs work – need more conventions and perhaps move one of the jumpscares to the end?

LR:
I will be adding some more scenes and fix the dialogue part of my trailer.




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